Saturday, November 5, 2011

Gnashing of Teeth

Queen of Every Fucking Thing

Stick your scepter up your ass.

Mud Mermaid

American Mythology

Now offering new crunchy zero fat grams candy coating. Now offering eleven new shades of safe sex. Bright white smiles all around. Penis cupcakes on the side. Vagina salad free to first thousand customers. Splooge rouge uncouth voting booth. Embarrassing spills disguised with glitter paint. Haunted by considerable ghosts of house warming parties past. White gods love black gods go down on green gods lick yellow gods eat brown gods. Everyone is smiley face roll-back prices happy. Multiplex checks in the mail. Hot chicks from hell lining up around the block for who knows what. New surprises every Thursday. Ambushed nervous clientele. No one is telling the truth.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

moRe GooGLE FoR youR BuCK

Blow jobs twenty bucks a pop. Reality dance star also sings acts models makes cozy cushion in family media room. Demi. Ashton. Beyonce. Chaz Bono. Shoe bargain. Purse cheap from Hong Kong. Barry Manilow lyrics broken down simple for common American retardbot. "Now I must destroy thee as I would a snake." Bible sex. Biblically approved lubrication. Spit. Shampoo. Discount lotion, spring fresh scent.

Friday, September 30, 2011

GooGLe GRaMs

Brad is a big blabber mouth. Jen is fine. Brad who? Jen has a hot new man. Jen is drinking water instead of wine. Baby Jen coming right up! Justin is so easily bored. Jessica is hot but lacks charisma. Where is the glue? Is it okay for Suri to wear bright red lipstick? 91% people on the street say NO. Beyonce is getting on my last goddamn nerve, being so hot and rich and talented and happy and down home fine. Beyonce will be more appealing when she loses a leg or is badly burned or starts sucking on the stage. This mean spirit prevails. Some people are happy to see their fellow humans shine shine SHINE but my eyeballs are breaking. The medication is not working. A pet giraffe might help.