The First Night

I wanted to cum but I could not.
Too many factors conspired against
the cumming of my clitoris.
I was married and not to him.
We were in the guest bedroom
of his grandmother's house.
I was drunk but neurotic as ever.
He said,"You have long legs, hon"
and I thought,"Yeah? Well what
about my tits? Fuck. He thinks
my tits are too small."
I'd seen his ex-girlfriend,
the one with the designer name.
The California girl with a pierced nose
and big tits.
The next morning I was terrified
he was sorry. He was on his side
of the bed. I was on mine.
Goddamn it I needed to be held.
He mentioned breakfast and I was
relieved. I knew then that he liked me.
We sat on the patio at the Blue Dragon
talking and smoking cigarettes as
we sipped our coffee.
I watched every maroon car that
drove by. He sensed that I
was nervous.
"Yes. I keep thinking my husband
is out looking for me," I said.
My hands shook as I lit
another cigarette.