El Jacalito Night

This taco meat is really nasty on my tongue
in my stomach
all greasy and fat.
I would like to live on lemon juice infused
ice water but I am surrounded
by aliens who insist
I need Mexican food
chicken nuggets
yogurt
salad
cheeseburgers
hot dogs.
Today my mom bought me
a purple and blue hula hoop.
I told her I am sexually peaking
and she looked disgusted.
Daughters should never remind
their mothers of these things.
What the fuck can they do about it, after all?
Today I bought myself a perky magazine
and a Snickers because I could not have
what I hungered for the most.
I really need a strange
lusty
functioning
discreet
dick in my life
but the logistics
are a real bitch.
I would like to light a candle
soak in a tub of bubbles
close my eyes
and tell myself
that I am a mermaid
until I believe it
until the fact of my cunt
is as inconsequential
as the fact of the dream jeans size
that has eluded me
since 1999.